Dear 35 year old me, It was possible to keep a face on it for a while. The family image and dignity maintained. Yet the cracks got larger. The pain of real life, the pain of life events seeped through the cracks. I moved forward as if on a tight-wire. Potential to fall off at any time. Moving forward with my roots, my feet firmly held in the past. I struggle to say ‘stuck’ in the past and maybe that was the case. The unearthing, the uprooting was inevitable. I am sorry I did not recognize the structure on which I based my identity had eroded. I was surviving, clinging to the fading structures. Holding you back from developing, from maturing. The compassion and acceptance I worked to have for you did not acknowledge, did not know of the structures that were eroding. When the knowledge came true compassion and acceptance followed which brought a freedom, which brought my spirit back, supported me to start anew – build new structures on which to build my multitude of identities. I feel I have become untangled. My mind, my identity, my life all untangled moving forward with strength. With this learning and knowing I now offer you, although older, the freedom and opportunity to live life to your full potential. With grace, gratitude and love, Your renewed spirit 48 year old me